Marriage and Happiness Essay

Humans be in search of two things beloved and satisfaction. Whether it is from kids or epoch-making others, people strive to reach feelings of connection in fear of being alone. In gilberts, Does Fatherhood shit You Happy? and Crittendens, About Love, the authors question the roots of personal felicitousness. By comparing and contrasting Daniel gilbert and Danielle Crittenden, it can be concluded that oneself does not solely determine happiness. The presence of children and significant others serve as major factors in emotional feelings of love and rob contributing to feelings of happiness.Gilberts, Does Fatherhood Make You Happy discusses how kids have an effect on a parents life along with their happiness. Starting his establish off by exchanging ideas in which children decrease the happiness of a parent by adding stress into their life, he ends with thoughts that kids make us happy nonetheless, since they are a product of two partners. For instance, Gilbert proclaims th at the happiness children bring into a couples life whitethorn exhibit a small impact. In his words, Children may not make us happy very often, but when they do that happiness is both transcendent and amnesic (Gilbert 985).Children have the capabilities to make whatso perpetually undivided happy. Gilberts point initially is that married couples start off blissful with each other, worrying only for themselves. Over time when the mates unwrap offspring, they progressively become unhappy, from when their kids are in diapers to when they hit adolescence. Research conducted by psychologists revealed that couples reach initial happiness when their kids grow up and move along with their costs. Gilbert refers to such a thought to show readers the truth of what really happens in parenthood.He states, Our children give us many things, but an increase on our average out daily happiness is probably not among them (Gilbert 986). Parents withhold an unconditional love for their kids going be yond measures. Being patient and kind is in every parents character to love and care for their children. A simple I love you can erase moments of despair. Crittendens About Love argues that people have been in search for autonomy, defined as the need to be oneself. Crittenden believes that in this newfound generation, humans are on a quest for independence yet they are to a fault on a journey to find love.She also believes postponing true feelings such as trust, faith, and honesty can be like a prison (1010). If individuals are not up to(p) to display such emotions, they will trap themselves in their own prison. Crittendens point of view assumes that not being able to live for one person can be a negative and positive thing A woman will not understand what true addiction is until she is cradling her own infant in her arms (1009). She shows creating and maintaining a family helps women find their identity.She starts her essay off with views of being in search of autonomy, and ends with statements that women want the family aspect as easily as children in life to complete them. Crittenden states We all want the warm body next to us on the sofa in the evenings we want the disruption and embrace of family around us we want at the end of our lives to look back and see that what we have done amounts to more than a pile of payment stubs, that we have love and been loved, and brought into this world life that will outlast us (1008).To love and be loved amounts to more than just fulfilling another lone someone, circumstances humans create lives and opportunities of happiness. People are often too fearful of taking responsibility of not only themselves, but of others. In Crittendens words, in addition often, autonomy is merely the excuse of someone who is so fearful, so weak that he or she cant bear to take on any of the responsibilities that used to be shoulder by much younger but more robust and mature souls (1008). Fear of loyalty, and bearing others serves as a block up in the road to find happiness.Gilbert and Crittenden both assert in one way or another that individuals attempt to find a pedigree of happiness by raising a family, or taking responsibilities from others. On one hand, Gilbert overlooks what I consider an important argument about the happiness a kid brings. Objecting with his proposals, I argue against Gilbert, as children do indeed stimulate joy. Believing that the impact of happiness kids deliver is rare and trifling is ludicrous. How could you ever disagree with what makes an individual happy? Happiness is within the eye of the beholder.It becomes apparent that kids make their parents smile, laugh, and show emotions no one else can achieve. My thoughts come to more parking lot ground with Crittenden as she argues that letting go the fear we hold and opening our hearts to love would help individuals reach a sense of happiness. I potently agree with this argument because we wont fully understand what happiness can truly reveal until we can make others beside ourselves happy. Having someone to share goals, dreams, and aspirations with creates a new bond. Being able to witness another person be proud of what you accomplished can help you acquire personal happiness.I wholeheartedly endorse what Crittenden refers to as strengthening a muscle by using it (1009). We train our muscles such as our heart to be strong. If we are not able to put our heart into use, we will never know how to express feelings of love and merriment to others. Growing up, getting married, and having children is what most women envision in the future. The risk of commitment and willingness to be open is scary, but its a risk worth investing in. Many people argue that looking for love is only a petty excuse to get away from loneliness.They assert that relationships only create madness, kids are a waste of time, and families make you lose sanity. However, if one were to argue against my beliefs I would assure them finding a pa rtner is not as daunting as it sounds. Along with kids are put on this earth for a campaign to bring joy. Finally that family is always there for love and support. Love finds a wonderful place in this world to make humans experience acceptance. As Crittenden would point out, the moment we say, I Do, we have answered one of the great, crucial questions of our lives We now know with whom well be spending the rest of our years (1009).Content with the emotional connections, the commitment of love opens a whole new spectrum of happiness. Although many individuals argue that being alone is far off better, having someone to love and care for is a bewitching experience. My discussion of love and happiness is in fact addressing the larger matter of what really is happiness. Assuming the bigger picture, one will define personal happiness as surrounding themselves with a big family with a husband and five kids. Another may define bliss as merely two soul mates being together forever. Many ot hers will define joy as autonomy and coming home to a lone household.These conclusions have significant applications on Gilberts idea of a couple being satisfied without kids, as well as Crittendens point of considering someone to love and be open to. Humans are able and willing to find their own personal happiness. To love and be loved is one of lifes greatest aspects to being able to complete an individual. Works Cited Crittenden, Danielle. About Love. What Our Mothers Didnt Tell Us Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman. New York Simon & Schuster, 1999. 1008-010. Print. Gilbert, Daniel. Does Fatherhood Make You Happy? Stumbling On Happiness. N. p. HarperCollins, 2006. 984-86. Print.